Discovering my neurodivergence in my 30's and what it means about my past.
Being an undiagnosed neurodivergent individual is inherently traumatic.
CHILDHOOD TRAUMA IS NOT ALL I’VE SUFFERED FROM
It has been right under my nose for my entire life but I have never had the right information to assess or understand myself.
I was raised by my abusive and neglectful parents between their two homes, since they divorced when I was a toddler. I am the only child for both of them, though my mother did get remarried when I was 6 to a person who became my third abuser up until I left at 16.
I was not taught the basics of self care, how to clean or care for the home, or how to understand myself. I just existed and was shunned off to my room, where I focused on my special few interests for hours alone.
The laundry room was off limits because my mother kept her liquor stash there. I was not allowed to put away anyone’s clothing or go into the bedroom, which I later discovered was where her drugs (coke) were stored. My stepfather enabled the addictions my mother had and hid evidence from everyone who ever looked into it to avoid any penalties. But I now see it as a form of control he was able to maintain over us both, as he often referred to me as an animal or a burden.
