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Being perceived as either flaky or too much is a terrifying burden for an Autistic person.
I’m out here studying people like a raven on a perch in the corner ceiling of the room, very aware I will not be perceived well if I come down to join everyone. I would describe my character as deep, intellectual, observant, instinctual, and empathetic. Other people seem to perceive me as too much or too little, either way never being the right dose of pill for people to swallow.
Over and over, in the last year of being in the Autistic Adult Communities on Social Media, I’ve heard a common thread of experience in regards to Identity & Self Worth. “I am either too much or too flaky to others". When what is really happening to the Autistic person is their Autistic characteristics are being used against them or misunderstood - making it increasingly difficult to build long lasting relationships or bonds with others.
In the content I’ve come across, no matter what platform I’m on, this problem has been discussed with little to no solutions to offer to one another — only a feeling of resonating with it and being equally frustrated.
Though I believe this to largely be a Neurodivergent experience, I think Autistic people have it especially hard due to the nature of our Autistic traits. Not understanding social cues, not wanting to follow social norms, and not being totally sure what it means to ‘be ones self' behind masking ones Autism makes this especially problematic for Autistics.
I’ve had the unique experience of seeing my past experiences through the lens of watching my daughter (who is diagnosed Autistic since toddlerhood) socialize with peers. It planted a seed for me to want to find Autistic adults to talk with so I could understand her better — honestly understand her from the inside out, not from the medical model I’d been presented for so many years.
